Life's Surprises
by kapsa
Summary: Usagi and Mamoru are still going at it. However, one battle changed their relationship forever......
1. Default Chapter

Life's Suprises - Chapter 1 By PinkyToes Rating: PG  
  
Hi. This is a new fic of mine. It's set in the first season, where our lovely couple is still fighting and going at it.  
  
Hope you enjoy it!  
  
I know I enjoyed writing it!  
  
Read and Review!  
  
Life's Suprises  
  
By PinkyToes  
  
Chapter 1  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
The high-pitched scream woke just about every living creature within a ten- mile radius. The birds in the park flapped their wings wildly at the atrocious noise, wondering what the heck had just happened. Passerbys stopped and looked up at the sky, looked down at the ground beneath their feet, and the scenery within their views, wondering what animal had just been run over on the street. But, to all those who are familiar with the noise, or better put, the source of the noise, they knew that *it* was neither an animal, nor a phenomenal disaster. Tsukino Usagi, wail extraordinaire, had done it again. She had managed, once again......to trip on an invisible crack.  
  
"ARGH! This is the second time today! Why can't I just walk normally? Whhhhyyyyy?!"  
  
"Odango, for starters, STOP WAILING!"  
  
Time froze. The birds stopped flapping their wings. The people stopped their inspection for the source of the wail. The cars' tires slowly rolled to a stop. Even the traffic lights turned red, as if signaling to the world, that it's time, this second of this minute, at this hour of the day, to just..stop.  
  
Even Usagi stopped mid-wail. Somehow, deep in the recesses of her mind, her ears have sent a message to her a brain that a new voice had entered the scene, that the stage has been set and complete, and now the camera must roll. Taking the time to register this new intrusion, though the time only seemed milliseconds to the rest of the world, Usagi opened her eyes, wiped the tears that had escaped from under her eyelids with the back of her hand, and looked up. Long legs, clad in pants made of a seemingly expensive khaki-colored material, zipped up and buttoned, topped off with a black leather belt, and a gold buckle that gleamed brightly in the sun, dark navy shirt tucked impeccably in with two of the three buttons buttoned, leaving the top one open to show off the gorgeous smooth, tan chest.  
  
-Wow..-  
  
Usagi was enjoying her view. In fact, she wasn't the only one. Female bystanders glanced appreciatively at the one-of-a-kind male specimen and hoped that somehow, their stylish clothes and short skirts can catch that man's attention. However, their hopes quickly dashed and weakened their perseverance in catching his eyes when they noticed that the man's attention is not on anyone or anything else, except for the blonde girl in front of him. The women just sighed and walked away.  
  
Meanwhile, Usagi was continuing her inspection of the new prop on the stage. Moving up from the buttons of the dark navy shirt and the small expanse of chest that showed, much to her absolute delight of course, her eyes came in contact with a pointy but also curved chin, and strong jaws that showed the inner strength of the man. Suddenly, her eyes came in contact with two pieces of pink-colored flesh that looked so tantalizingly soft...  
  
-Wooo...Usagi...pull back...pull back..you are enjoying the show waaaayyy to much...-  
  
However, her mind and her heart seem to differ in opinions. Her mind told her to stop looking and say something, however, as the saying goes, her *heart* wasn't into it. She continued the inspection until she came across two, dark, crystal, mesmerizingly blue eyes that reflected amusement and a hint of exasperation. Suddenly, Usagi's thoughts pummeled to a stop as her mind finally processed the answer she had been searching for.  
  
"Mamoru-baka."  
  
"Odango Atama."  
  
She seethed. Her eyes turned dark at the dreaded nickname. Inwardly, her temperature shot up ten degrees as the anger she feels slowly surfaced to her face, making her cheeks ears look rosy and fiery. Usagi squinted her eyes and glared at the man before her, the "Mamoru-baka" that had stopped the entire city with a few simple words.  
  
The rest of the world looked around and finally acknowledged the presence of the two soon-to-be-arguing couple. Shrugging at the normality of such a scene, the people started moving again and the street lights turned green. Car tires started rolling the sounds of the busy day continued as if never been disturbed before.  
  
Now, "Mamoru-baka", otherwise known as Chiba Mamoru, an exemplary student at Azabu Tech, one of the most prestigious schools on Tokyo, had a very bad..bad..day. The dreams that he has every night, the usual princess who hides behind clouds and asks for the silver crystal, was getting old. On top of that, Sailor Moon, whom he has promised to protect, was very confusing to say the least. Before the youmas had begun attacking and Sailor Moon started calling him for help through their "link", Mamoru had always thought that the princess was his one and only love. However, once the battles have begun, add Sailor Moon to the mix, and tada! A chunky and gooey mixture that he likes to call his "love life."  
  
But, back from his small pity moment to the task at hand, Mamoru looks down at the short and angry girl, and smiled a cocky grin.  
  
"Odango. You need to be more careful. One of these days, you'll get seriously hurt. I probably won't be able to see you for a long time-"  
  
By this time, Mamoru had put on a small pout on his lips for theatrics. Usagi wondered where his speech was going because THIS Mamoru speech was just waaayyy to..nice.  
  
"-and I'll be very sad because-"  
  
Mamoru's face lowered until it was right in front of Usagi's. He looked deeply into her eyes and made sure that the attention of her entire being is on what he's about to say.  
  
"-then, who am I going to tease everyday?"  
  
"ARGH! Mamoru-baka, you heartless jerk! You don't even care if I get hurt or not! Do you take some sick pleasure in teasing me everyday?"  
  
"Why no, Usagi. I just tease you everyday so I can bask in the bright light that you shine off each day!"  
  
Mamoru was having fun playing with Usagi's mind. Somewhere during his last statement, he had brought his hands up and clasped them on Usagi's shoulder, as if emphasizing just how *serious* he is.  
  
"But, that's not the only reason why I tease you. I just want to make sure that you're still alive from the trips and falls that our friend, gravity, always aids you in. Aren't I just a wonderful person?"  
  
"Mamoru-baka. Spare me your *kind* words. If you'll excuse me, I have to go to the arcade because I'm. Late. For. A. Meeting!"  
  
"Oh? With the girls? What kind of meeting?"  
  
"Ugh, you baka. It's none of your business! Besides, it's just a sensh- oops- I mean sushi meeting!"  
  
"Sushi meeting, eh? Well, I could've sworn you said.."  
  
"Nothing, Mamo-baka! Just get out of my way before I TRIP ON YOU!"  
  
-Hmm..I could've sworn she was about to say senshi..-  
  
"Argh, snap out of it, Mamo-baka! Get out of my way!"  
  
Mamoru's body was involuntarily pushed out of the way quite suddenly, too suddenly for his liking. He smoothed out the tiny hand imprints on his shirt that Usagi had made when she pushed him out of the way. Dusting off invisible lint, Mamoru looked back at the direction Usagi had gone in, and shrugged.  
  
-Might as well follow her.-  
The next few chapters will be longer. I promise. *pinky swear* (  
  
Remember, read and review! 


	2. Chapter 2

Life's Suprises - Chapter 2 By PinkyToes Rating: PG  
  
I know that some of the readers are having trouble reviewing because I'm not allowing 'Anonymous' reviewers. The thing is, I don't know how to change the settings so that anonymous speakers are allowed to review. If any of you guys can help me out, I'd appreciate it! Please leave the instructions in a review or something. :-P  
  
Well, on with chapter 2!  
  
****************  
  
"I've analyzed our last battle. I am happy to announce that I think we have improved greatly since the beginning of our fighting adventure! All of us worked together like a real team! I analyzed the monster for weaknesses, Mako-chan beat that poor thing senseless, Rei-chan just about burned the monster's clothes, or the tiny amount of clothing that actually covers the monster's secret *ahem* assets, and Mina-chan, with her handy dandy Venus chain, held that monster like a dog on a leash! And Usagi- chan, well..Usagi..you did a good job 'moon dusting' that poor excuse of a 'scary' and 'horrifying' energy-stealing sucker! I think we deserve to pat ourselves on the back and applaud one another for our efforts!"  
  
The rest of the senshi stared stupidly ahead at the blue-haired, 400 IQ, shy, serious, and *crazy* person in front of them that they kindly call their friend, Ami, or otherwise known as, Sailor Mercury. Ami had started an explanation of how the senshi should -how did she put it?- 'pat ourselves on the back' and 'applaud one another for our efforts'. Awkwardly, without taking their eyes off their friend, who was clearly high off something - possibly their last victory - the senshi raised their hands and arms slowly and patted each other on the back. Those who were closest to Makoto also gained extra bruises to go with the 'pats on the back'. Ami just clapped to herself happily and bounced up and down in a jolly fashion on the comfortable cushions of the booth.  
  
"Can I get you ladies something?"  
  
Usagi averted her eyes from her crazy friend and glanced up sharply at the new voice. Her eyes immediately brightened to a lighter shade of blue and a happy smile formed on her lips.  
  
"Toki-chan!"  
  
Motoki, happy as can be, just grinned a cute smile at Usagi's direction. White teeth gleamed in the light and Usagi just about swooned. Makoto and Minako weren't far behind in joining the 'Motoki Fan Club'.  
  
"Motoki! Can I get a cheeseburger with fries and strawberry milkshake? Oooo, also, please add extra sides of chocolate milkshake and fries! Speaking of fries, can I also get two more orders of fri--"  
  
"Odango Atama! How many times are you going to order fries? You're going to get yucky acne and big rolls of fat on your stomach if you don't watch what your eating. OH wait, why am I talking to you about this now? IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE!"  
  
Motoki, the outsider, just sweatdropped at the bickering between Usagi and Rei and glanced helplessly at the rest of the senshi. Obviously, he wasn't going to get any help from Minako and Makoto, who are still staring at him with drool dripping off the sides of their mouths. And Ami, well, Ami is still bouncing jollyily on her seat. He sweatdropped again.  
  
"Oy, Motoki, what does a man have to do to get coffee around here?"  
  
"Mamoru-san! Just hold on minute, your coffee will be in your hands before you can say 'Oy, Motoki, what does a man have to do to get coffee around here?' Be right back!"  
  
Mamoru was just about to inform his absentminded friend that he had already said that. However, Motoki had rushed off before he can get a word in edgewise. Whistling a jolly tune, Mamoru looked around the arcade for entertainment. Mainly, entertainment that involved a girl with two golden buns on top of her head. He was disappointed when he didn't see Usagi. However, using his other senses, he accurately heard mysterious sounds of shouting and clapping in a booth that is placed in the back of the arcade. Somewhere in the shouting, he vaguely heard 'Odango Otama'.  
  
'Bingo.'  
  
He walked casually to the back of the arcade and readied himself for the bickering battles that had earned themselves a name in the humble city of Juuban. However, what he saw was one of the oddest scenes he has ever come across in all the time he has known Usagi and her friends. For some weird reason, Ami wasn't acting like herself and was clapping and bouncing in a strange fashion. Makoto and Minako were drooling like newborn babies. And Usagi, well, Usagi was fighting with Rei, again.  
  
'At least that's still normal.'  
  
"Hey, Odango Atama, lower your decibels. Some people actually want to use their sense of hearing, got it?"  
  
Usagi and Rei stopped bickering almost immediately. For the second time that day, Mamoru stopped the entire world for just another second with only his words. The arcade went silent, and the only sounds heard were the swishing of the fans on the ceiling. Occasionally, sounds of flies buzzing can be heard through the silence.  
  
"Hello, Mamoru-san! How are you doing today? Good?! Good!"  
  
Apparently, Rei had woken herself out of her stupor before Usagi did. The busy, animated personality of the arcade regained their normality and the world continued rolling once again. Mamoru, more disappointed than surprised, was suddenly all too aware of Rei's shifted attention on him. However, his eyes still looked beyond the top of Rei's head and into Usagi's crystal blue eyes.  
  
It seemed as if the rest of the senshi had followed Rei's example and snapped out of their own trances and said a tiny 'hello' to Mamoru. Ami stopped bouncing and clapping, and instead folded her hands in her lap and smiled her pretty little smile. Makoto and Minako wiped their mouth with their sleeves and the back of their hands and blushed at being caught unawares. Usagi just looked into Mamoru's eyes and seethed silently.  
  
"Hey, Mamoru-san! Here's your coffee! I just made a new pot and I gotta say, it's one of the best pot of coffees I've ever made!"  
  
The rest looked at Motoki like he was crazy and realized quietly that he was too *intimate* with his pot of coffees.  
  
"Well? C'mon! Try it! I want to know what you think!"  
  
Mamoru slowly extended his hand and accepted the drink held in front of him. He muttered a quiet thanks before bringing the cup's rim to his lips. Everyone's eyes were on his cup of coffee and the liquid that will be flowing into his mouth. The arcade was silent. The anticipation was too great and the real test was afoot...is this coffee good? or bad?  
  
Mamoru sipped the coffee and grimaced slightly at the hot temperature, and swirled the liquid in his mouth with his tongue. The taste buds on his tongue opened up and accepted the taste and the decision was made.  
  
"Mmm...Motoki. This coffee is good! You've outdone yourself!"  
  
Claps were heard all over the arcade and Motoki blushed and bowed slightly at his accomplishment and appraisal. Muttering a quiet thanks, Motoki walked quickly til he was right in front of Mamoru and brought his arms around Mamoru's body and *squeezed*.  
  
"Thank you Mamoru-san. That's..that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!"  
  
Mamoru, shocked at Motoki's sudden bear hug, just awkwardly put his arms around Motoki and returned a tiny hug. Being subtle so as to not arouse suspicion, Mamoru pushed Motoki away gradually until Motoki was standing straight again and a fair amount of space was between the two bodies. Mamoru sweatdropped as Motoki wiped a gleaming tear of appreciation from his eyes.  
  
"Err, Motoki. Thanks for the coffee! I'll, uh, pay you later!"  
  
"Oh Mamoru-san, that's alright! Your praise was pay enough for me!"  
  
"Uh, thanks."  
  
The senshi just stared suspiciously at the two men standing in front of them. The hug shared between Motoki and Mamoru was a just a bit too *close* for their liking and comfort. Secretively, the five girls glanced at one another and silently asked each other the same question..  
  
'If we get coffee, do we also get hugged by Motoki?'  
  
Ami, being the one to have previously claimed that Einstein was, is, and will always be her truest love, rolled her eyes at the other girls. Apparently, her question had been different from the questions of the rest of the senshi. She had embarrassingly asked to herself: 'Are they gay?'  
  
Quickly pushing the absurd thoughts in her mind, Ami settled down and waited for the other girls to do the same. Usagi was the first of the four to shake herself up from her daydream when she noticed that Mamoru's attention had once again shifted to her. She fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat and mentally hit herself when she noticed that Mamoru had noticed her nervous fidgeting. His eyes reflected a little too much amusement for her liking and she decided that it was time to fight back.  
  
"Mamoru-baka. What are you doing here?! Are you stalking me? I'll have you arrested, ya know!"  
  
"Odango, I just came to have a cup of coffee and visit my pal, Motoki, here. Is there a problem with that? Or do you just naturally think that every guy who follows you inside the arcade is a stalker?"  
  
"Of course *not*, baka. You just happen to be an exception and I usually think the worst when anything has to do with YOU."  
  
"Awww..Odango. I'm hurt. Why would I *ever* want to hurt the pretty little hair on your pretty little head? Hmm?"  
  
"I don't know! Maybe you're jealous of my gorgeous, blonde hair. Isn't that right, Mamoru-baka?"  
  
Usagi shot a triumphant grin at her arch enemy and fingered her hair for show. Her slim, pale hands lifted her silky blonde strands and started smoothing her hair with her fingers, as if showing Mamoru just how *gorgeous* and *smooth* her hair is.  
  
Mamoru's eyes darkened to a dangerous shade of blue as he watched Usagi play with her hair. Oh he had noticed her beautiful hair alright! Each time Usagi bumps into him, he couldn't help but come in contact with the silky strands as he picked himself up from the ground. He knew how gorgeous Usagi's hair is, but he would never tell her that. The day he tells Usagi her hair is gorgeous is the day he claims he loves her!  
  
'Ha! Like that would ever happen. Probably in a thousand years!'  
  
"Err, Odango. Are you talking about the hay-colored strings you call your 'gorgeous' hair? No offense, odango, but I'm not impressed."  
  
At this comment, Usagi fumed and was about to give Mamoru another piece of her mind before a beeping roused everyone out of whatever the heck they were just doing. Ami's eyes widened and a secret message was sent around the table. Mamoru just looked suspiciously and confusedly at the sudden quietness.  
  
"What's beeping?"  
  
Motoki! They had forgotten he was here! Usagi pushed Rei out of the end of the booth and pulled Makoto and Minako out from behind her. Ami was already at the entrance of the arcade. Hurriedly muttering a bunch of excuses without ever explaining what the beeping was, the four senshi ran away from the two men and rushed to catch up to Ami. The result was two confused men watching four girls running, as if for their lives, and leaving a trail of dust behind.  
  
"Well, that was interesting."  
  
"Yeah.."  
  
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Mamoru became all to aware of the tingling sensation that fills his head and heart whenever Sailor Moon was in trouble. He also quickly muttered an excuse to Motoki and rushed out behind the five girls.  
  
Motoki was awed by such odd displays. He picked up the half-drank cup of coffee from the table and placed it on his brown tray. Whistling a jolly tune, he wiped the table with his wet towel and walked bouncily to the kitchen.  
  
'Now...to make another pot of coffee..'  
  
*********************** The next chapter will about the fateful battle! *dun dun dun!*  
  
Tune in for the next chapter of "Life's Surprises".  
  
Review, review, review!! :-} 


	3. Chapter 3

Life's Suprises - Chapter 2 By PinkyToes Rating: PG  
  
I don't know if I want this fic to be so humorous anymore. After all, this is a romance fic, and love is not fun and humor all the time. However, since this fic started out as a humorous one, I will do my best to continue the humor and repress my urges for a bit of drama *sigh* Anyway, I'll save the drama for another story. Ok, on with the story. Enjoy!  
  
*****************  
  
"Usagi, you have to transform."  
  
"I know Rei - oops, Mars - I just need a few moments alone."  
  
"Why on earth would you need a moment alone, now especially, since we're about to find a BIG AND UGLY YOUMA!"  
  
"STOP YELLING AT ME! I just need a few moments alone because I feel there are voices in my head telling me that something special is going to happen today. So there!"  
  
Usagi stuck her tongue out at Rei.  
  
"Usa..I knew that I should have analyzed you the minute I met you. You're aura gives off waves of...I don't know...abnormality. Really, Usa, I thought you were normal enough to not listen to those *voices* in your head. There is help available for these types of things you know..psychiatry, psychology, you name it, the modern world of medicine will give it to ya 100%! But please, let your *voices* go..let them be free...ignore them..free them from your mind..free them, free them, free them..."  
  
By this time, Rei is performing some sort of hypnotic trance motions with her hands and waving them in a circular motion before Usagi's eyes. Usagi's eyes follow Rei's moving hands and slowly, Usagi begins to get drowsy..and sleepy..and she started muttering nonsense...  
  
"Free my voices...free my voices..be free, my voices.."  
  
"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! USAGI! SNAP OUT OF IT! REI IS NOT PRIESTESS ENOUGH TO HYPTONIZE YOU! BESIDES, HYPNOSIS IS JUST SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE AND ILLOGICAL!"  
  
At Ami's fervent cries, Usagi snapped out of her trance and rubbed her eyes slowly. She stayed silent for awhile. The others watched her. The rest of the already-transformed senshi watched their leader to make sure that the "hypnosis" had worn off. Usagi removed her hands from her eyes and looked at her senshi, silently, as if contemplating something. Seconds, minutes ticked by.  
  
"Nope. The voices are still there."  
  
The senshi sweatdropped and Rei facevaulted to the ground.  
  
"Look, guys, just leave me here for a minute. Go fight the youma and weaken it. I'll be there in a jiffy and moon dust it. Heck, I can even use this minute to make up a new intro for battle!"  
  
"Err..ok, fine. We'll leave you here for a minute. Sixty seconds, Usagi. More than that and I'll flame your butt myself. Ok? And don't even think about going to the arcade. We are awfully close to it so there's always a chance you'll run back in and order fries. So...clear your mind and talk back to your voices..I suppose...see ya!"  
  
After muttering a quick 'let's go guys', Sailor Mars led Sailor Mercury, Sailor Venus, and Sailor Jupiter to the park, where the big, bad, and the ugly was already sucking a couple's precious energy.  
  
No matter how much Usagi wanted to run after her friends and join them in the fight, something kept nagging her in the back of her mind. It's almost as if a warning is sent to her and that this battle will be a life-altering one. Oh, how her brain hurts. Quickly chanting her transformation spell, Usagi turned into Sailor Moon and ran after her friends to the park.  
  
'Here goes nothing..'  
  
********************  
  
Tuxedo Mask has been up in the tree for god knows how long. The ongoing battle has been a long one, but an easy one. The senshi hasn't needed his help so far, and he can only crouch on this tree limb for only so long. He yearned to stretch his legs and just prop himself up on the trunk and have a nice nap. But, duty calls and he can't give in to selfish pleasures.  
  
He realized, arriving at the scene, that Sailor Moon wasn't with the rest of the senshi. Granted, she's usually late to the battles, but somehow, he felt that she should have been with her senshi.  
  
'There she is.'  
  
Sailor Moon entered the scene, all flying pigtails and the tight-fitting bodysuit. Now, Tuxedo Kamen wished even more that he can prop himself up next the tree and just watch the show because Sailor Moon and her long legs are just too tantalizing and enchanting...  
  
Quickly pulling himself out of his daydream, Tuxedo Kamen realized that Sailor Moon is in trouble. A ball of energy is about to hit her back and she didn't even realize it. Bending his knees, he crouched and jumped off the tree branch and landed on the grass underneath. Running as fast as he could, he reached Sailor Moon and pushed her out of the way. However, he wasn't fast enough.  
  
The ball of energy came hurling at both Tuxedo Kamen and Sailor Moon. While pushing Sailor Moon out of the way, he had somehow turned her body so that he was facing her and their sides were to the energy ball. So, when the energy ball hit the couple, both bodies absorbed the blow. When the light show died down, the senshi saw that both Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen had been blown back into a tree and they were unconscious.  
  
The four senshi, immensely worried, quickly combined their attacks and destroyed the monster. Running to the unconscious couple, they crouched down and checked for their pulses. The pulses were there and still strong.  
  
Sailor Mercury pulled out some kind of stick from her subspace pocket and put the sticks under the unconscious bodies' noses. Immediately, Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen jerked awake.  
  
"Geez.....Sailor Mercury..the things you pull out of your pocket..."  
  
Sailor Mercury rolled her eyes at Sailor Venus' comment and returned her attention to the still-drowsy heroes. She pulled her computer out of her pocket and examined the two bodies of internal or external injuries. She also checked for any difference in brain waves. There was nothing wrong with them. She sighed in relief.  
  
"How are you guys? That was quite a blow. Sailor Moon, Tuxedo Kamen, are you both okay?"  
  
"I'm fine, Mercury."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"Errmm....Mercury...my voices feels a bit funny."  
  
"Yes, Sailor Mercury, I feel that my larynx is giving off some off-pitched sounds. Can you check my voice for me?"  
  
Sailor Mercury was shocked to hear Sailor Moon spewing off words like 'larynx'. Never in her life would she have suspected that Usagi knew the parts of her own body. Looking around at the rest of the senshi, she saw the same shocked faces on everyone else's face.  
  
"Hey, wait a minute! You have my voice!"  
  
"Sailor Moon? You have MY voice!"  
  
"Nu uh, mister. Look, I know my voice is pretty, but you CANNOT STEAL IT!"  
  
"Look, Sailor Moon. I have no idea what you are talking about. I like my voice just fine, so why don't you give it back and we'll finish this. I'm beat!"  
  
"Look, *Tuxie*, just because you're hot and dashing - oops, - I mean...anyway..doesn't give you the right to talk to me that way! Now, give me my voice back!"  
  
Rubbing her forehead in frustration, Usagi was shocked to find her tiara gone and a mask replacing the front of her eyes and part of her forehead. Snatching the mask off, she was even more shocked to find the white mask of Tuxedo Kamen!  
  
"CHIBA MAMORU?!"  
  
The rest of the senshi was shocked to see Tuxedo Kamen peel off his mask and reveal his true identity. Immediately, the four senshi fainted and fell promptly to the ground.  
  
"WHERE? WHERE? IS THAT JERK HERE?!"  
  
"Jerk? What, I'm not a jerk! Oh geez..why do I sound like this?!"  
  
"Hmm..now that I think about it..the senshi fainted when they saw me take off my mask...and then...they said something about Chiba Mamoru...ugh...my brain hurts soooo much!"  
  
Walking to the nearby fountain in the middle of the park, "Sailor Moon" cupped some water in her hands and quickly splashed her face with the cool liquid. Sighing in content at the refreshing feeling, she cupped another water in her hand. Leaning forward so as to see her face better, she splashed her face with the cupped water and wiped the excess off. Opening her crystal light blue eyes, she was shocked to see midnight blue staring back. She was also shocked to see the face of Chiba Mamoru looking back at her.  
  
"Jerk! What are you trying to do, scare me--"  
  
However, when "Sailor Moon" turned around, she was shocked to find no one behind her, and the Chiba Mamoru she expected wasn't around either. Turning back to her water, she checked her reflection again. There he was. Finally understanding what's going on, Usagi went silent. She had somehow become Chiba Mamoru.  
  
"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Oh Christ! You're just like Odango! I swear, your wails can make anybody deaf! Even the deaf become deafer from your wails!"  
  
"Hey! Don't call me ODANGO! THAT JERK - who is now me - CALLS ME THAT!"  
  
"Tuxedo Kamen" was more than a little surprised to see his face and body talking to him. If Sailor Moon is in his body..then..whose body is he in?  
  
Realization sunk in and soon, he gave a wail of his own.  
  
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"  
  
"Gosh, and you say I'm loud..men and their chauvinistic natures.."  
  
"Christ, Sailor Moon! We've switched places!"  
  
"Wait, I'm in your body, and you're in mine?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"So..if I'm in your body, and I'm in Chiba Mamoru's body, then you're Chiba Mamoru?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"Sailor Moon" fainted with the rest of her senshi.  
  
"Tuxedo Kamen" sighed and just propped himself on the tree and stared at the five unconscious girls.  
  
Sigh...  
  
***********************  
  
Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen switched bodies?  
  
OOOOOO.  
  
Not as much humor, because I needed to explain the situation and there was more stuff going on. Sorry.  
  
Read and Review! 


	4. Chapter 4

Life's Suprises - Chapter 4 By PinkyToes Rating: PG  
  
So, I was walking down the street the other day. This guy comes up to me and wants to sell some sort of shampoo to me. I told him: "No, thank you." Then, he comes up and sniffs my hair and goes, "oooo..your hair smells good, you don't need this shampoo." On one hand, that comment was quite flattering at the point that I don't need his bloody shampoo to make my hair smell good. However, on the other hand, I find it disturbing that someone would just go up to someone's hair and smell it and comment on it. Bleh..  
  
So, just to warn my fellow writers and readers out there, if someone comes up to you and tries to sell you something while doing something odd and intrusive to you, beat them to a bloody pulp! Even though I didn't, I highly encourage it because I was quite disgusted by that man's behavior. Ugh..even now as I think about it..I feel nasty..because that guy's nose was in my hair...  
  
Anyway..on with the story.  
  
****************  
  
"So, let's start over."  
  
"We've been 'starting over' for the past hour now. What is there to start over?!"  
  
"Look Mars, or should I be calling you 'Rei', this is all very new for me and for you. So why don't you cut me some friggin' slack and let's get on with the meeting!"  
  
"Geez, Mamoru. Never pegged you as the type to yell at a lady. Very offensive and rude."  
  
The rest of the senshi nodded in consensus with their fiery companion. Occasionally, words and phrases like 'girl power' and 'patriarchal society' and 'rude men' would come up as the senshi conversed to themselves about the 'disrespect' Mamoru had just displayed. Mamoru just rubbed face with his hands and counted down from 100 slowly in his head.  
  
"I'm *sorry*, Rei-san. I...I didn't know just *what* I was thinking. Forgive me."  
  
The girls raised their heads from the huddled form they had been in. A message was sent around telepathically among the girls and they came to an agreement. Rei looked at Mamoru and nodded slowly.  
  
"Very well, Mamoru-san. I forgive you. But if you *points finger* ever show male dominance in front of us five ladies again, I'll make sure you'll lose the one part that distinctly categorizes you as a 'male.' Understood?"  
  
"*gulp* Yes, ma'am."  
  
"Rei?"  
  
"Yes, Usa?"  
  
"What's the part that distintly cate-what? Anyway, what's the part that makes him male? Oooo..what's the part that you're gonna make sure he loses? I will take part in any physical harm on Mamoru-baka! Just name the place and time, and I'll make sure he loses - errr.. - being male!"  
  
"Usa...our innocent little bunny..just look inside your pants..I mean! Mamoru's pants! I mean! Don't look! Here...have a cookie!"  
  
By this time, Mamoru in Sailor Moon's body had gone pale. His jaw dropped to the ground at Makoto's suggestion.  
  
"Ooooo..thanks Mako-chan! Hmm...these are yummy..."  
  
"Good job, Mako-chan. You managed to distract her for at least two minutes or so with your plate of cookies. You also almost made Mamoru lose his virtue! Now, back to the task at hand."  
  
"Wait. Lemme get this straight. You - *points at Mars* - are Rei."  
  
Rei nods in an proud manner and lightly brushes her fingers over her fuku as she looks proud and powerful for Mamoru's inspection. Mamoru sweatdropped.  
  
"And you - *points at Jupiter* - are Makoto."  
  
"That's right buster! Thaaaatttt's *me*!" Emphasizing her own identity, Makoto slapped Mamoru on the back and grinned maniacally as he wheezed in pain.  
  
"And...*cough*...YOU - *points at Mercury* - are Ami."  
  
"That's right, Mamoru-san. Happy to finally share my identity with you after months of battling. I'm sure that from now on, our shared identities with each other will prove useful in fighting the Negaverse. Welcome to the team."  
  
Mamoru felt absolute respect for this fourteen year old girl who seems to hold so much intelligence and life experience. Her soft spoken and polite voice made him felt like he really *was* part of the team. He felt so welcomed, and respected, and - -  
  
"Hey, Ami. Save your long speeches for sometime else, alright? We don't have time!"  
  
Ami turned her once peaceful and calm eyes and glared at the rude and obnoxious Sailor Mars. Immediately, a glaring contest ensued and both senshi's rigid bodies leaned menacingly into the other's as they tried to stare one another down. Mamoru sighed, for seemingly the 50th time this night. Good things just don't last long.  
  
"Anyway. You - *points to Venus* - are Minako."  
  
"Right on, my man! You see, that's why I always do my *victory* sign, cuz that represents me, ya know? For Venus? With the V? You got it? Here, do the victory sign with me. Just spread your pointing finger and you middle finger like *this - wow, Mamoru-san, and don't stick out your middle finger at me, cuz that's a big no no - -"  
  
Mamoru stared stupidly at the crazy blonde who was going off on how to make a victory sign. He looked over at Ami and Rei, who are still trying to stare each other down. Nothing short of a nuclear warfare would distract the two senshi from their ongoing battle. Makoto was rummaging through his kitchen cabinets for some reason. She seems to be checking out his...kitchen? He looked over to Usagi, and sighed in relief that she's at least normal. She had finished the plate of cookies.  
  
"So, Mamoru. Do you know who *I* am?"  
  
"How could I not, Odango? Your hairstyle gives you away. *He tweeked the meatballs on top of his head* I just *can't* believe it took this long to figure you out..."  
  
"Well, *I* can't believe how long it took *me* to figure you out! I mean, only you, the biggest cheeseball in Tokyo, can make up such cheesy haikus for your battle entrances. I mean, talk about *corny*!  
  
"WHAT? I wouldn't be talking, Miss 'I'm the Champion of Love and Justice, I am Sailor Moon!' I mean, talk about crap!"  
  
"What. Did. You. Say?!"  
  
"Gosh. How do you talk like this? My voice is so high..."  
  
"Well, at least I don't sound like some *boy* who went through a puberty gone wrong!"  
  
"I'll have you know, that many women think my voice as *sexy*."  
  
"He's got you there, kiddo." Makoto's voice carried far from the kitchen.  
  
"What women are they? Deaf ones? Ones that don't go out much so they go for the first man they see? Women without experience? Hmm? Mamoru, take your pick!"  
  
"Oh, please, Odango."  
  
"Ha! You cannot call me Odango anymore because *you* are the one with odangoes. Victory for me!"  
  
Immediately, Usagi stood up, still clad in Tuxedo Kamen clothes, and jumped up and down, dancing a victory dance. She soon joined Sailor Venus in making victory signs with their fingers. It was quite a scene seeing Tuxedo Kamen and Sailor Venus jumping up and down childishly flashing victory signs.  
  
"Stop it! You're making me look childish!"  
  
"Hmmm...this will be fun. I wonder what your *friends* will say when you act like this in front of them! HAHAHAHAHAHHAH!"  
  
"Somehow, I don't think you have to worry about me acting foolish in front of my *friends*."  
  
Mamoru had said that so quietly and gravely that everyone in the room turned to 'him'. Even Rei and Ami took time out of their battle to glance curiously at Mamoru. Usagi and Minako stopped their victory dances and sat down, looking shamefully at Mamoru's direction. Usagi, most of all, felt responsible for making him mad. She didn't mean what she said. She wouldn't have made a fool out of Mamoru in front of his friends.  
  
Inwardly, Mamoru seethed and bashed himself silently in his mind. He didn't want to appear vulnerable in front of the girls but what Usagi said struck him. Truth is, Usagi wouldn't be able to make a fool out of him, even if she wanted to. He didn't have any friends, only Motoki. Pasting a tiny fake smile on his lips, he turned his head upward and glanced comfortingly at the rest of the occupants in the room.  
  
"Well. Usagi, you must understand, if you make fun of me in front of my...friends...then I can make fun of you in front of yours! You wouldn't want that now, would you.."  
  
Usagi glared at herself as best as she could. Somehow, she just can't glare at her own image no matter how hard she tried. Inwardly, she was mad at how Mamoru once again got the upper hand. She stood up suddenly.  
  
"Mamoru Chiba! Don't you dare make a fool out of me!"  
  
"Of course I must! Making a fool out of yourself is a daily ritual for you! To break that ritual would make people sus-pi-cious!"  
  
Usagi was seeing red. Mamoru's singsong voice at the end of his statement aggravated her to no ends. She was about to rant at him again when she tripped on Tuxedo Kamen's leather shoe.  
  
"Christ! Ow! Mamoru-baka! How do I detransform? Tuxedoes are annoying!"  
  
"Usagi is right. We should all detransform. If someone were to come in and see us or see us through a window, we'll be in a bit of trouble. So, everyone, just detransform."  
  
Ami's command was registered in everyone's minds. Immediately, Mars, Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter detransformed. Four colored lights brightened the entire room and when the lights died down, four normal girls stood in the living room of Mamoru's apartment.  
  
"Alright, you two. Your turn!"  
  
"Mamoru-baka, just hold your hand over the broach and think about detransforming. Now, what do I do?"  
  
"Just think about detransforming as well."  
  
"Alright, let's do it."  
  
Usagi detransformed first since Tuxedo Kamen had a shorter time detransforming than Sailor Moon did. Soon, Usagi found herself clad in a dark navy shirt with khaki pants.  
  
'Not bad..not bad at all...'  
  
Mamoru placed his hand over the broach and thought about detransforming himself. Immediately bright light washed over him. He made the mistake of looking at his - or 'her' - body as he detransformed because immediately, Usagi's body's nudeness struck his eyes and burned the images into his retina.  
  
'Wow..'  
  
When the lights died down, Mamoru was still struck with the images of Usagi's body. The other girls must have noticed his stupor and immediately called his name multiple times to get him out of his daydream. Usagi looked curiously at Mamoru and wondered what had gone wrong. Seconds and minutes passed by before Mamoru looked up at all of them.  
  
"I never knew you guys go through a naked phase as you transform."  
  
"HENTAI! YOU SICK PSYCHOMANIAC! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING LOOKING AT *MY* BODY!"  
  
"HEY! YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU ARE NAKED WHEN YOU TRANSFORM!"  
  
Rei, Ami, Makoto, and Minako were shocked to know that Mamoru saw Usagi's body. Quietly, they prayed that he didn't see *their* bodies while they transformed.  
  
The four senshi looked on as Mamoru and Usagi started their infamous fights again. The senshi, save Makoto, sat down on the couch and watched the scene, finding interest at the comments spewed from both sides.  
  
"Just sit there guys and be comfy. I'll be right out with popcorn and cookies."  
  
*******************  
  
Mamoru saw Usagi's body? Scandalous!  
  
Some bit of Mamoru tension in the chapter. Heh heh..couldn't resist.  
  
Read and review! 


	5. Chapter 5

Life's Suprises - Chapter 5 By PinkyToes Rating: PG  
  
In the last chapter, I gave y'all a short story about me. So, I decided, that I would do this for every chapter. It doesn't matter if nobody reads it. It's not like anybody will tell me! *cackles* Anyway, the chapter can wait, if you are reading this.  
  
So, do you guys know the show on the WB, called 'Grounded for Life'? Well, last night was the season finale, and my mom watched it with me. She was very shocked at the sexual innuendos in there and how it was obvious that the teenage girl (Lily) and her dorky admirer (forgot his name) had sex. My mom started ranting about how this show was bad and how it gives this horrific image of teenagers having sex during their teenage years. Anyhow, I kept emphasizing to my mom that I wouldn't have sex while I'm a teenager. It was an odd night. The same thing happened to 'What I Like About You' when Valerie started giving Holly the sex speech but Holly finds Valerie in a compromising situation when her old boyfriend comes out of her shower. Odd... It was funny too, cuz my mom is really odd and protective. Ok...*cricket cricket*...on with the story...  
  
*************************  
  
"Look, you *jerk*--"  
  
"Guys, as entertaining as this is, right now, the time is 7PM already. We gotta get home to dinner. Tomorrow is a school day, and we really need our sleep."  
  
"Mako-chan's right. We're all tired and we need to go home. Besides, Usa- chan, we have a test tomorrow and you need all the sleep you can get to get a good grade!"  
  
"AMI!!"  
  
"Wait, there is no way Usagi can take the test tomorrow."  
  
"Why do you say that, Rei?"  
  
"Look at her. Now, look at Mamoru. Do they seem strange to you?"  
  
"DUH, Rei, they switched places."  
  
"I *know* that, Mina-chan! I mean, Mamoru, in Usagi's body, has to go to Usagi's school and Usagi, in Mamoru's body, has to go to Mamoru's school! Mamoru can't all of a sudden show up in Juuban and Usagi cannot show up in Azabu!"  
  
"Rei is quite right, guys. How are we going to do this?"  
  
"Obviously, Usagi can't go home either."  
  
"WHAT?! MY MOM WILL FREAK IF I DON'T GO HOME!"  
  
"ODANGO! CALM DOWN! What I was going to propose is, Mamoru has to go to Usagi's home, and act like you until this whole thing blows over and you guys switch back. So, until then, Usagi, you have to live in Mamoru's apartment, I'm afraid."  
  
"YOU'RE AFRAID? What about me?? I should bet the one who is *afraid* here. This is *my* apartment!"  
  
"There goes that yelling again. Have you no respect for the ladies in your room? Geez..Mamoru...we're gonna call you 'woman- yeller' from now on. What horrible manners..."  
  
"Oh Christ! Odango doesn't count as a lady, she's in my body now!"  
  
"True..."  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"Look, gals, and guy, we need to go home. We're all tired. So, Mamoru, we'll take you to Usagi's house. Usagi, stay here and try not to wreck this apartment."  
  
"Especially that kitchen! It's gorgeous!"  
  
"*ahem* Yes, as Mako-chan says, don't wreck the kitchen, the bathroom, my bedroom, the tv, the sofa, the door, the doormat, and most of all! My roses! Leave them alone!"  
  
"Geez..Mamoru-baka. Your flowers? Never took you as the flowery type. Wow, we never took you as a lot of things, and here you are, surprising us!"  
  
"Wha--"  
  
"Ok! Mamoru, let's go! Usagi, stay here! The girls and I will pick you up tomorrow morning!"  
  
"Thanks, Ami! See ya guys tomorrow!"  
  
"Wait, that's it? I'm giving up my apartment already? It's not right..!"  
  
"Mamoru-san. If you don't stop complaining, I'll personally remove your manhood myself! Understood?!"  
  
By now, the voices have drifted out the door and down the hallway until they are only a murmur. Usagi closed the door behind them quietly. Slowly, she turned from the door and looked at her new spacious apartment. Wondering to herself at the marvel of her home, she whooped and started ransacking the apartment.  
  
"YAY!"  
  
*****************  
  
"I hear nothing."  
  
"I see nothing! I say nothing! I do--!"  
  
"Got it, Minako-chan! Now, zip your face!"  
  
"Look, we've been pressing our ears to the door for at least five minutes now. Why don't we just go in and see if Usagi's awake!"  
  
"Alright, on the count of three, we..knock."  
  
"Alright, let's go."  
  
Knock, Knock, Knock.  
  
Nothing. Not a murmur, no sound. The girls' hearts stopped and resumed its beating when they noticed that Usagi hasn't opened the door yet.  
  
"Just like her, that Usagi, to sleep in!"  
  
"Look, we need to take her to Azabu now! She's going to be late for Mamoru's classes! *We're* going to be late for school as well!"  
  
"Alright, Mako-chan, do your thing!"  
  
Makoto raised her long leg and aimed at the center of the door. She was just about to kick when a high-pitched wail told her to stop.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"  
  
All of the neighbors at the same time opened their doors and yelled at the intruder.  
  
"Quiet down, loud mouth! We're trying to sleep here!"  
  
Meekly, Mamoru looked apologetically around the hall and ran to the other girls. However, as soon as he reached them, he immediately resumed his angry face.  
  
"Told ya you shouldn't yell. Very rude."  
  
"You could have asked for my key! When I told Usagi not to break my door last night, I didn't think I had to tell you guys as well!"  
  
"Sorry, Mamoru-san. But, we needed to get in and Usagi's not awake and we didn't know if you were either cuz it's really early after all, and we--"  
  
"Got it Mako-chan. And don't worry about it. I usually wake up at six in the morning, so don't be scared of waking me up."  
  
"Alrighty, sir! Got it!"  
  
"Just open the door, you magpies!"  
  
Mamoru pushed his key inside the lock and twisted. However, he was shocked to find that the door didn't need to be opened. It was open already!  
  
"Smart, ya guys. I wonder how the press would take it when they find out that the senshi can't even open a simple door! Especially a door that's open! AHAHHAHAHAH!"  
  
"Shut your face, baka! Oh gosh, I sound like Odango now!"  
  
The rest of the girls, including Mamoru, walked ahead of Rei and patted her on the back sympathetically as they walked by her. Rei stayed stationary outside the apartment for awhile before she walked in behind the others.  
  
"Usagi? Usagi!"  
  
Shouts were heard all around the apartment as the five tried looking for their missing bunny. Little did they know, the bunny is no longer in the apartment.  
  
****************  
  
Walking jauntily down the street, Usagi headed toward the direction of Azabu tech, or the direction she thinks that will lead her to Mamoru's school.  
  
Dressing this morning was certainly an adventure. She was shocked to see Mamoru's drawers filled with purple Tuxedo Kamen boxers and Sailor Moon t- shirts. However, when she was about to take off her boxers and replace with a clean one, she had stopped mid-action and realized that she was about to see Mamoru's private side. Feeling uncomfortable with this next big step, she instead got a shirt and pants and put them on, without changing her underwear. It had been uncomfortable to say the least.  
  
'Wow. Mamoru's so tall. You can see so much with his height!'  
  
One thing that Usagi had learned is that her newfound height has given her many advantages. For example, she no longer needs to tiptoe in order to get something inside a tall cabinet. Also, the freezer is no longer unreachable to her as well. Her new height has given her a new perspective on everything. She was enjoying her new body! Also, the looks that she receives from the women of Tokyo was quite surprising to say the last. At first, she wondered why the women were looking at her. But, once she looked into a window of a bakery, she understood why and was not the least surprised anymore the find out that the women were looking at Mamoru, her image.  
  
Spotting Azabu Tech up a few blocks away, she raced the rest of the way and hoped to finally reach school early. Rounding one last corner, she reached the gates of Azabu Tech and ran into the school. Finally coming to her senses and realizing that she doesn't know where Mamrou's classes are, she went to the school office for help.  
  
"Excuse miss."  
  
An old lady with gold-rimmed glasses looked up.  
  
"Ah! Chiba-san. How are you?"  
  
Idly wondering if Mamoru is friends with every old lady in the school, Usagi almost forgot to respond.  
  
"Er..just fine" - looking at the lady's name tag - "Tsakuya-san! I was wondering if I can get a school map and my schedule."  
  
"But..Chiba-san. Why would you need a map and your schedule?"  
  
"Ahh..I..um..my cousin! You see, my cousin is visiting school today and I wanted to give him a map! And..my schedule..he wanted my schedule! To visit me during the day!"  
  
"Oh, how nice! Of course, Chiba-san. Hold on, please."  
  
Drumming her fingers against the granite counter, Usagi waited patiently for what's her name to get her a map and a schedule. Finally, after about five minutes of waiting, The lady with the gold-rimmed glasses came back with two sheets of paper. Usagi thanked the lady and raced off.  
  
"Let's see. Room K-6. It's around this corner and aha! Right here!"  
  
Happy with the success of finding her first classroom, Usagi threw up a fist in the air and cheered to herself as she walked to the door of her classroom. Suddenly, a feeling funny in her lower half stopped her.  
  
'Shoot! I need to go the bathroom! I haven't been to the bathroom since yesterday!'  
  
Quickly rushing to the bathrooms down the hall, she glanced at the signs without thought and opened the door with the shape of a girl in a dress. Immediately, screams erupted and shouts of 'hentai' filled the room.  
  
Red-faced and embarrassed, Usagi ran out of the girl's bathroom and walked two quick steps to the boys' bathroom across. Spotting odd contraptions that are shaped like really long sinks, Usagi frowned in confusion and instead stepped into the stalls. She unbuttoned and unzipped her pants. Her fingers reached into the elastic band of the purple boxers and her brains suddenly screamed out warnings.  
  
'Warning: You are about to open Mamoru's boxers. Warning!"  
  
"Oh shoot! How am I going to pee without seeing Mamoru's..friend."  
  
Quickly deciding that she just cannot pee right now, Usagi pulled up her pants and buttoned and zipped as fast as lightning and ran out of the bathroom before the temptation of release that the bathroom offered would be too hard to escape. Usagi walked uncomfortably down the hall way back to room K-6. Her hands closed around the knob and twisted the handle. She walked in and spotted a bunch of older students. Finding a seat in the back, she walked up the stairs of the big classroom and found solace in the solitary seat that she had placed herself in. Once more, the bottom half of her screamed at her for pressure release.  
  
'Oh dear..'  
  
*******************  
  
"She's not here."  
  
"Where can she be?!"  
  
"Look. Right now, we must go to school. She's probably at Azabu already!"  
  
"No way, I refuse to believe that Odango got to school earlier than I did."  
  
Mamoru looked around the apartment worriedly. As much as he hates to admit it, he's worried about the little odangoed-one who looks like him now. However, agreeing that they should go to school, Mamoru ushered the girls out of his apartment and locked the door. One last thought came to his mind before he pushed himself to get to Usagi's school on time.  
  
'Oooo...I have to go pee.'  
  
**************  
  
Well, you never thought peeing would be such a big trouble.  
  
Anyway, read and review! 


End file.
